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yenkumi [userpic]

big girls don't cry

October 13th, 2009 (08:01 pm)
current location: blackhole
my mood: determined
(unofficial) soundtrack: big girls dont cry

fergie's big girls don't cry

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

La Da Da Da Da Da

[from azlyrics.com]

yenkumi [userpic]

... a prayer ...

September 26th, 2009 (10:42 pm)

Dear God,

I’m neither Sherlock Holmes nor Hercule Poirot
I can’t deduct or analyze something obscured
I can’t make any hypothesis based from a little fact

So please God…
Please give me guidance
Please give me an exact clue
Literal and vivid

In order to make me understand
In order to make me apprehend
What is wrong and what is right
And to know where is the right path for me to walk…


yenkumi [userpic]

Eid Mubarak

September 21st, 2009 (09:49 pm)

current location: neverwhere
my mood: amused
(unofficial) soundtrack: lagu-lagu lebaran yang suka diputer di mal-mal (d'uh..!)


it's 1430 H already *sigh*
darn, i'm getting older haha...

well, but anyhow...

please forgive me for i have sinned

yenkumi [userpic]


September 15th, 2009 (11:28 pm)

current location: blackhole
my mood: cynical
(unofficial) soundtrack: one of those nursery rhymes, i guess

i love you
you love me
we are happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
won't you say you love me too..

*singing in a sarcastic tone*

yenkumi [userpic]


September 9th, 2009 (01:03 am)

current location: blackhole
my mood: confused

tidak lebih dari seekor binatang peliharaan
atau boneka pajangan porselen

nothing but an it

tidak lebih dari pemain di bangku cadangan
atau anak kecil yang merengek demi sebungkus permen

nothing but the other

tidak penting
hanya pemain figuran
side dishes


ternyata bagimu...
makna dirinya cuma seperti itu...?

yenkumi [userpic]

which fantasy writer am i...?

September 4th, 2009 (09:22 pm)

current location: neverwhere
my mood: impressed

i took this quiz several months ago n really really wanted to post it here...
but just felt so reluctant to do so... haaaaa...
well, finally i post it here anyway... hehehe....
you see, this only shows that i have to broaden my knowledge (in a case that i don't even know who the hell Tove Jansson and Gene Wolfe are *lol*)

and the result is quite-but-not-that-shocking-result haaaa... though i've never read Mister Pullman's as well *sigh* (gosh, what a fantasy lover i am..?).
Well, i have a lot of homeworks then..

so, without further ado... this is the result (finally)

Your result for Which fantasy writer are you?...

Philip Pullman

5 High-Brow, -1 Violent, 7 Experimental and
5 Cynical!

Congratulations! You are High-Brow,
Peaceful, Experimental and Cynical! These concepts are defined

Philip Pullman was already a prominent
author of children's books when he published his most praised work to
date, the trilogy known as His Dark Materials
(1995-2000). In this work, set both in parallel worlds and our
own, Pullman made a courageous attempt to write a book for young
readers which incorporated a whole vision of the universe, as well as a
discussion of ethical issues. He managed to combine this with a burst
of thought-provoking and entertaining imagination, bringing to life a
Europe where the church is still in control, "souls" that have been
externalised as animal presences, intelligent, sentient polar bears and
much more. The series have been described as a sort of "anti-Narnia",
as Pullman's attempt to write an updated variant of the kind of books C
S Lewis, whom Pullman has criticized for having racist, misogynic and
preaching tendencies, wanted to write. His Dark
has also spawned some controversy among
Christians, who see the the work as an attack against Christianity,
Pullman being one of Britain's most outspoken atheists. Other
Christians have, however, claimed to have found spirituality
in the books.

Either way, Pullman's combination of
renewal and expansion of the genre, his profound messages on the value
of life and his refusal to under-estimate his young readers' ability to
see life as it is makes Pullman one of the most interesting and
important writers of modern fantasy.

You are also a lot like Tove

If you want something some action, try Gene

If you'd like a challenge, try your exact opposite, J R R


This is how
to interpret your score: Your attitudes have been measured on four
different scales, called 1) High-Brow vs. Low-Brow, 2) Violent vs.
Peaceful, 3) Experimental vs. Traditional and 4) Cynical vs. Romantic.
Imagine that when you were born, you were in a state of innocence, a
tabula rasa who would have scored zero on each
scale. Since then, a number of circumstances (including genetical,
cultural and environmental factors) have pushed you towards either end
of these scales. If you're at 45 or -45 you would be almost entirely
cynical, low-brow or whatever. The closer to zero you are, the less
extreme your attitude. However, you should always
be more of either (eg more romantic than cynical). Please
note that even though High-Brow, Violent, Experimental and Cynical
have positive numbers (1 through 45) and their opposites negative
numbers (-1 through -45), this doesn't mean that either quality is
better. All attitudes have their positive and negative sides, as
explained below.

vs Low-Brow

received 5 points, making you more High-Brow than
-Brow. Being high-browed in this context refers to
being more fascinated with the sort of art that critics and scholars
tend to favour, rather than the best-selling kind. At their best, high-brows are
cultured, able to appreciate the finer nuances of literature and
not content with simplifications. At
their worst
they are, well,

Violent vs.

You received -1 points, making you more
Peaceful than
Violent. This scale is a measurement of a) if you are tolerant to
violence in fiction and b) whether you see violence as a means that can
be used to achieve a good end. If you aren't, and you don't, then you
are peaceful as defined here. At
their best
, peaceful people are the ones who encourage
dialogue and understanding as a means of solving conflicts.
At their worst, they
are standing passively by as they or third parties are hurt
by less scrupulous

Experimental vs.

received 7 points, making you more Experimental than Traditional.
Your position on this scale indicates if you're more likely to seek out
the new and unexpected or if you are more comfortable with the
familiar, especially in regards to culture. Note that traditional as
defined here does not equal conservative, in the political sense.
At their best,
experimental people are the ones who show humanity the way forward.
At their worst, they
provoke for the sake of provocation

Cynical vs

received 5 points, making you more Cynical than Romantic. Your
position on this scale indicates if you are more likely to be wary,
suspicious and skeptical to people around you and the world at
large, or if you are more likely to believe in grand
schemes, happy endings and the basic goodness of humankind. It is
by far the most vaguely defined scale, which is why you'll find the
sentence "you are also a lot like x" above. If you
feel that your position on this scale is wrong, then you are probably
more like author x. At their best, cynical people
are able to see through lies and spot crucial flaws in plans and
schemes. At their
, they are overly negative, bringing everybody else

Take Which fantasy writer are you?
at HelloQuizzy

yenkumi [userpic]

keluhan yang biasa

September 4th, 2009 (09:13 pm)

current location: neverwhere
my mood: blah

udah lama ga baca buku
dan merasa semakin bego setiap hari *sigh*
malah mengkambinghitamkan keterbatasan dana haha
padahal mah kalo ada kemauan pasti disitu ada jalan

cuma aja mungkin lagi kerasukan setan sloth

*udah berbulan-bulan ga posting dan posting pertamanya adalah ini...?? tsktsktsk*

yenkumi [userpic]

Dream Deferred

March 5th, 2009 (08:02 pm)

current location: blackhole
my mood: anxious

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

~ Langston Hughes' Dream Deferred ~

note: apakah mimpi saya tertunda? ataukah…? Ah, mengenai hal ini saya benar-benar berusaha untuk tidak memikirkannya dulu... Ya, saya jalani saja apa yang saya terima hari ini karena apa yang saya inginkan belum tentu dapat diraih, tetapi apa yang saya inginkan juga belum tentu yang terbaik, bukankah??

yenkumi [userpic]


March 5th, 2009 (07:54 pm)

current location: blackhole
my mood: anxious
(unofficial) soundtrack: tomorrow never knows

Memulai sesuatu yang baru bagi saya juga berarti memulai ketakutan baru, kecemasan baru, tingkat stress yang baru, dan masih banyak lagi ekses negatif yang timbul akibat dari perubahan yang terjadi. Huhu.. itu mungkin memang karena saya saja yang penakut! Tetapi mau tidak mau, ya saya harus menjalani karena saya tidak punya pilihan selain menghadapi realita. Yup, (sedihnya) saya tidak seberuntung Peter Pan atau Tristran Thorn atau Richard Mayhew yang masih bisa memilih antara realita dan mimpi. Haaaa… maka dari itu mulai saat ini saya harus pelan-pelan menyembuhkan Peter Pan Syndrome saya dan menghadapi kenyataan! Dunia nyata itu memang keras, bung! haha… tapi saya akan dan HARUS berusaha…!!!! Atashi wa gambarimasu!!!

yenkumi [userpic]


February 11th, 2009 (02:35 am)

current location: blackhole
my mood: enraged
(unofficial) soundtrack: pink's so what!!

I might have found a mare's nest, and I'm thanking God that I found it…
does it affect me?? oh yes, it affects me quite lot… but I won't runaway and hide…
I will stand tall and face this with grace!!

I might experience this for the second time, but this doesn't make me weak!!
Sorry to say… because I'm stronger than you think!
and after all, this is only a mare's nest.. Blimey, it's so insignificant!

right now, Wrath is my bestest friend, though I know that he's a friend in disguise…
Hell, like I care!!
if you want to deceive me, then I'll let myself to be deceived…
because what I want now is burnt by your flame.
Just burn me to ashes!!
so that I would reborn like phoenix…
And when that time comes, then I'll leave you…
and leave everything behind…

[so what am I trying to say, then?? Oh, just bugger off!!]

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